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Animal jokes

Collection of maybe the funnies Animal jokes in internet.

A guy walks into a bar…

…. with a giraffe.

They sit down at the bar and start drinking beer after beer and shot after shot.

Finally. the giraffe passes out and falls to the floor.

The guy pays the tab and is just about to leave when the bartender says: ‘Hey! You gonna leave that lyin’ there?’

‘It’s Not a lion. a giraffe!’ says the guy.

Why do you have boobs on your back?

An elephant and a camel are talking.

The elephant asks. ‘Why do you have boobs on your back?’

The camel replies. ‘Ha! That’s a funny question coming from an animal with a penis hanging from his face.’

A lost dog strays into a jungle

A lost dog strays into a jungle. A lion sees this from a distance and says with caution “this guy looks edible, never seen his kind before”. So the lion starts rushing towards the dog with menace. The dog notices and starts to panic but as he’s about to run he sees some bones next to him and gets an idea and says loudly “mmm…that was some good lion meat!”. The lion abruptly stops and says ” woah! This guy seems tougher then he looks, I better leave while I can”. Over by the tree top, a monkey witnessed everything. Evidently, the monkey realizes the he can benefit from this situation by telling the lion and getting something in return. So the monkey proceeds to tell the lion what really happened and the lion says angrily “get on my back, we’ll get him together”. So they start rushing back to the dog. The dog sees them and realized what happened and starts to panic even more. He then gets another idea and shouts “where the hell is that monkey! I told him to bring me another lion an hour ago…”

A koala was sitting in a tree

A koala was sitting in a tree smoking a joint.

When a lizard walks up and says “Hey koala what are you doing?”

The koala answers “Smoking a joint, come up and have some.”

The lizard climbs up and the two share the joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is dry and excuses himself to a nearby river to have a drink.

The lizard, so stoned, leans over too far and falls in. A crocodile swims out to rescue him. When they get onto dry land, the croc asks, “What’s wrong with you, lizard?”

The lizard tells him that he was smoking a joint with a koala, and he got too stoned and fell in while taking a drink.

The croc has to see this for himself, so he asks the lizard to take him to the koala. When they get back to the tree, the croc looks up at the koala and says “Hey, you.”

The koala looks down and says “Shiiiit dude, how much water did you drink?”